Get off the damn scale already. Think of me as the concerned friend watching you spiral downward in an unhealthy relationship. The number staring back at you doesn’t tell you anything you don’t already know. Do you feel healthy and fit? Are you following a sound nutrition plan (READ-PALEO!), a well thought out exercise program (SEE-CrossFit)? Then I’m betting stepping on the scale isn’t going to tell you something you don’t already know. I had the great fortune of spending the weekend working at the CrossFit South Eastern Regionals all weekend. This meant lots of work, lots of amazing people and athletes and LOTS OF FOOD! And I ate, and I ate, and I ate…Paleo…the entire time and guess what, I gained six pounds after two days, on day three I was still up four pounds, and this means absolutely ZERO. Am I less fit? No. Are my clothes tighter? Nope. Did my abs try and hide? Not a bit. It’s just a random flux, based on food consumption, water intake, stress, sleep, and a slew of other things you’re probably not giving NEAR ENOUGH attention and spending WAY TOO MUCH TIME worrying about a number on a scale. I’m willing to bet you’ve never asked a dealer how much a car weighs. You look at the paint, check the tires, the engine, the mileage, the gas consumption, but never the weight. Right now your car needs paint, it needs a tune up, the tires are low, the gas comsumption could be better, but you know you can get a lot more miles out of it. If you’re going to worry about something (which is a part of the human condition) at least worry about something that makes sense.
Seeing the picture updates from the CrossFit Games South East Regional set up is a having a considerable negative affect on my ability to sit at my desk all day!
You owe me! More importanly you owe yourself. If you started your blog as a fit(fill in the blank), you owe us both. We both made promises. I promised to offer intelligent, well experienced advice when asked, a good rant from time to time (READ-OFTEN!), and you promised to blog about your fitness journey. Are you holding up your end? I’m fairly confident I am.
I’m talking about accountability. And I’m not talking about the Webster’s, “ability to be held accountable” B.S. I’m talking about a living breathing definition of accountability.
“Accountability-when your actions speak so loudly no one can hear what you said.”
Are you in the game and ”doing life” or are you watching it all go by, wishing, hoping, making excuses, for why you’re not where you want to be?
So seeing as I’m a smart guy I was doing some very important reading and discovered that one of my all-time favorite authors had been hinting to and alluding to CrossFit all along! How is it that I was so dense to miss such a blatant attempt by a brilliant man?!?
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
by the incomparable Dr. Seuss
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
Off to the Box, yay!
You’re off and away!
Crap, I’m late!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
We’ll see about this one in about an hour!
You’re on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
Until the coaches dictate otherwise!
You’ll look up and down streets.
Look’em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.
And you may not find any you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town.
It’s opener there in the wide open air.
The roll up door is always open, even in winter. Why do they hate me?
Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.
I’m about to get my butt handed to me aren’t I?
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
Can’t we just stand around for a few more minutes?
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
I know, I know…here it comes!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
Pull-ups, and box jumps?
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
You mean until you say GO!
Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.
I’m gonna fall aren’t I?
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch.
I believe this involves some kind of mobility WOD!
And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.
I kinda like watching the tumbleweed as everyone goes by!
You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.
Yup, sounds like falling!
And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Sounds like Butter-fly pull-ups to me!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
I’m pretty sure this is talking about either running into the bathroom or outside. Here comes pukie…
And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
See functional movement: Fetal Position!
The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.
I’ll be out in a minute…jeez!
Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.
No! That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Puke and rally!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Wall Balls too?!?
Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
There is a chance the 2011 CrossFit Reebok Games will be televised!
Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.
Or it might not!
I’m afraid that sometimes you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.
I’m pacing myself!
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak.
That wasn’t my sneakers…sorry!
On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.
Work your goats!
You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know.
Constantly Varied, gotcha!
You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.
I’m going to fall again aren’t I? Do you have ANY idea how hard, left then right is when you can’t breathe?!? What the hell kinda Dr. are you anyways?
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
I’m in the 1 ¼%! Go me!
Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!
***Author’s Note*** Feel free to share and laugh and comment, but give credit where credit is due. If I can cite the author, so then can you! My additions to those great classic are bold and in italic, I wrote them for your enjoyment as well as my own!—Adam—
So instead of ranting today I figured I’d try and take a slightly different approach (So, not true RANT to follow!)
I’ve been involved in health and exercise (and subsequesntly nutrition) as far back as I can remember. I’ve never been overweight. What I have been was someone who grew up in a household with an abusive alcoholic. I found my path by first hand witnessing an everwidening downward spiral. I chose exercise and fitness to be able to exert some form of control over my life. While in the service I became exposed to more exercise theory, concept, and “fact”, I’ve held numerous certifications, and sat through more death by power point seminars than I care to remember. I’ve used, abused, broken, and rebuilt myself physically more times than I care to remember or divulge, all in the quest of what works.
I’m opening myself up and stating to say, I have a lil’ bit of experience in these things. I’ve been a runner, a swimmer, a martial artist, and a slew of other things. Spare yourself pain and frustration and if you have a question ask. I may not have the answer off the top of my head but I promise you I will do everything I can to find you the most open and logically scientific answer I can.
Above I stated all the things I’ve been. As for what I am now…I’m a crossfitter. I’m a loving boyfriend (Hopefully!). I’m Paleo. I’m an athlete. You are too, you just have to step up and claim it!
Enter the rant… LISTEN to your BODY! If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t! Shin Splints aren’t some right of passage an athlete must endure (it’s your form and footwear…I promise!), I’m eating paleo and I’m starving (again, you’re missing something), doing a,b,and c hurts my fill in the blank (then you’re probably doing a,b,and c incorrectly! Stop, find the problem and fix it!)
MUCH! Planks are a functional movement that uses the entire abdominal wall. Sit ups are most often performed incorrectly and have very little carry over into functional fitness. Whether you just want a flat tummy or a strong core, planks beat sit ups HANDS DOWN!
“Practice until you get it right, keep practicing until you never get it wrong.”
Sitting at a desk all day is STRESSFUL! Not stressful in the sense that my job is crazy, stressful like standing at the starting line waiting to hear 3, 2, 1…GO! We’re not made to sit for long periods of time, no really, anatomically speaking sitting is unnatural! By 8:02 I’m praying for 5 o’clock! I would rather alternate being hit in the crotch by lil’ people with FRAN 40 hours a week, than sit at this desk. I’ve tried deadlifting it, it’s frowned upon…I’ve comtemplated doing box jump onto it, somehow I think others would start to question my productivity. I’m going to zone out and go to my happy place awaiting, the whistle blowing so I can yabba, dabba, do my ass outta here, grab Whilma (Jess), and get home to grill some meat and veggies!
***EDIT- Shortly after posting this I came across this beauty and needed to share!
Let’s be frank for a moment. Ok, now make sure you’re comfortable…well, found the problem! Throughout our lives we’re taught/told/conditioned to try and get comfortable, when in history has that ever REALLY paid off? Many relationships diminish because we get “comfortable”, but the relationship I’m talking about is with you…your health, your fitness! If you’re comfy will the cute lil’ vinyl weights (this is NOT gender specific), then get comfy looking and feeling like you do! If you love eating all those comfy foods, then get comfy wearing a lil’ more insulation this summer! Yes it may be hot outside, avoiding it neither changes that or prepares you to deal with it. If you’re waiting for comfy weather…YOU’RE MISSING IT RIGHT NOW!!! The most comfortable time to make the necessary changes in your life is now. I promise you it will not be comfortable, so get very comfortable with that thought. Chase something uncomfortable and you’ll be amazed how comforting it will be!
As most of you have read by now, the “face” of terrorism has been taken down. To those brave men and woman downrange, Thank You! I am honored to have served alongside you and am extremely proud of the work you have done since and forever will remember those lost along the way!
Now enter the rant… WTH?!? is wrong with people? It was decided by the powers that be to not add fuel to the fire and hatred by parading his body through the streets and media. I support this call! It shows dignity, the dignity that has been denied countless times to our troops, contractors, and citizens (See…Somalia 93, NY 01, Iraq 03). For those that need proof, here’s a HUGE sign…NO ONE is claiming he’s ALIVE!!! The US made a very direct and strategic decision, and it sent a clear and simple message. It was not sent from a command center thousands of miles away, to launch a weapon from a safe distance. It was sent with a surgeons percision, in the form of a .223 at close range. We sent a TEAM of highly trained men, miles inside of another county’s borders without consent and took someone at his own front door.
Put the conspiracy to rest, we got him. The war is far from over. It will be fought on multiple fronts in multiple lands, and many others will risk all to protect us. I’m sorry you feel the need to see it sensationalized more. If you feel that need, the next time you see news of a service member being laid to rest, step out from behind your computer, unplug from your social media, and go pay your respects. Witness it first hand, maybe then you’ll understand the need for respectful quiet.